I was recently told I had endo to, Im also a little vain and with all the research ive been doing I have to say Im glad to see someone other than Marylin Monroe who is actually pretty and going through all of that stuff, lol. are you on the long-term lupron, and how are you doing on it now?
Endo is really coming to the surface lately in awareness, and I’m glad. March (my birth month and what is supposed to be the last month of Lupron-Depo treatment for me, ironically) has recently been deemed Endo awareness month; there will be nationwide marches, and new attempts to raise even more awareness in hope to press the importance of finding a cure. Millions of women suffer from this illness to different extents. It’s a chronic illness that affects everything in your life, yet it has been pushed to the back burner of the medical profession for far too long. There are a ton of support groups and people who actually understand, which I hadn’t previously been used to. Oh wow.. I can’t thank you for the compliment, but there are many, many beautiful, strong women and celebrities who fight this invisible illness daily. All women are beautiful, it’s the trials of life, such as endo, that can cause us to let ourselves go. All of this Monroe stuff has also been surfacing lately due to the anniversary of JFK’s death. Her miscarriages, depression, addiction, and ultimate overdose are all looking to be due to endo, which is completely understandable… Especially with her being a performer, and especially as far in the spotlight as she was in every aspect. It takes a lot to keep acting just in daily life, not to mention actually being an actress. Eventually you can’t fake it anymore, it takes more and more pills to attempt to numb the pain both physically and emotionally, and it’s easy to see how she would have overdosed. I was never one of those typical girls who idolized her, but the more I find out about her “flaws”, the more I can relate with her and respect her, despite what other people say about her affairs with older, married men and addiction. You never know what it’s like to be in a situation until you’re actually IN IT, and then as humans we have the natural instinct to convince ourselves, “Oh, but with me it’s different.. My situation is not as bad, I’m not a terrible person, blah blah blah…” or even more annoying “My situation is far more terrible, painful, important, and debilitating than yours.. You’re just lazy, you don’t understand..” so on and so fourth. In actuality, we’re all hypocritical morons who need not pass judgement because both happiness and suffering is relative, and history always repeats itself.. We’re all always going to fuck up, and we’re all always going to think we’re somehow above others who do exactly what we’ve done, and none of us are EVERY going to know the full story of what others are going through. Anything can happen to anyone at anytime, and we need not compare ourselves or situations to any other person or thing. Forgive my digression.. Yes, I’m on the long term Lupron… Almost three months in.. I’m pretty much psychotic, weak, and hate everything… However, there still exists that shred of me in the back of my mind that will get up and do what I have to if I feel I’m letting other people I care about down; the main thing is that I’m losing the ability to put on “robot Sam”, and screw my smile on while doing it. Most people apparently gain weight on this shit, which was one of my fears, but I’m *crosses fingers* SO FAR becoming thinner (probably from all the increased heart rate during panicking and sweating during hot flashes)… But I really, really, really, really want my fucking tits back. Granted, that’s the least of my worries. But still. I never thought I’d miss my periods, but this shit is ridiculous. Everyone has different experiences with medication. Know that you have EndoSisters out there who understand in some aspect, and do whatever you have to in order to approach the possible light at the end of the tunnel. You just have to go for it and see what happens. It doesn’t hurt to get several opinions… It took me years to find a competent GYN/Oncologist.